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Deputy Duffy
03-06-2007, 09:15 PM
Marriage (Part I )





Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."





Marriage (Part II)





Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"


Marriage (Part III)



Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" asks the husband.

She yells: "Getting a second opinion!"



Marriage (Part IV)



A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

:p

Akuma-san
03-06-2007, 09:37 PM
You know if that is suppose to be funny it isn't.

freedom
03-06-2007, 10:00 PM
I think it's cute...lol

Akuma-san
03-06-2007, 10:08 PM
i find the first two funny.

I have seen the second two cost a man his life. I knew one of them. so i see no humor.

freedom
03-06-2007, 10:16 PM
Well I can see that not being funny. But for those of us that haven't had that experiance...it's different.

ADavid
03-07-2007, 02:25 AM
I dont know I found it pretty HIlarious thanx deputy those were great

Dragola
03-07-2007, 05:11 PM
Lighten up Satan (never thought I'd ever get to say that either)

I've heard some before though

ADavid
03-07-2007, 08:18 PM
Sounds to me like the age old problem, stick ur foot in your mouth by saying something stupid and u get what you got comin to ya. people dont realize the things you say in anger sometimes will huant you, just because you say your sorry doesnt take it back.
i find the first two funny.

I have seen the second two cost a man his life. I knew one of them. so i see no humor.

hawk9934
03-08-2007, 01:03 PM
I found them a good laugh. I can see Akuma's position on it, but for the general public it is funny. Kinda like blonde jokes and your momma is so fat ones. No matter what joke that is out there, it insults at least one person.

Deputy Duffy
03-08-2007, 10:32 PM
I found them a good laugh. I can see Akuma's position on it, but for the general public it is funny. Kinda like blonde jokes and your momma is so fat ones. No matter what joke that is out there, it insults at least one person.


Ding ding ding.

larrykay63
03-27-2007, 04:22 AM
keep em comin deputy

Badlybent
03-27-2007, 12:17 PM
All humor has a dark side. There is almost no joke that is really funny that won't offened someone. It's ok to be offended but that doesn't keep the same experience from being seen as funny by others. I guess the line gets crossed depending on exactly how many people you offened. It stops being funny when everyones piissed at you .