View Full Version : Story: The Ultimate Voyeur

03-14-2007, 09:14 PM
This is the first part of a story I'm working on. Please let me know if you like it. I love positive responses. :)


Sunday February 18, 2007

I thought about telling this story in the third person but I think it is better for telling it in the first person since Iíve decided to finally record my adventures, my life, for anyone that cares to hear it and cares, possibly, to believe it. My given name is Carson Lawrence but I have not heard my name spoken, indeed have not spoken to anyone or been spoken to by them, for so long that I would not remember if I did not talk to myself. The irony is that it is my choice to live this way. It started out very innocently too. But I will allow my relevant diary entries to speak for themselves with occasional present day footnotes.

Diary Entry Dated Thursday March 16, 1972

This is just unreal. I canít believe it. Steve was going to slap me around in the locker room after gym class today just as he always does. I know he was going to. I was so scared. God, how I wished I could teleport or walk through walls or turn invisible or stop time or something, anything so he would not slap me around again or snap me with a wet towel while the other boys just laughed like it was such a big joke, like I was a big joke. I wanted to not be there. I wanted him to just forget about it for one day, just not notice me and forget I was there. It was almost a prayer, ďPlease donít notice me. Please donít notice me.Ē AND HE DIDNĒT!!!! He didnít just ignore me or not talk to me. He walked right by me without even glancing. He was walking right at me and I figured he was going to run me over. Big joke, right? Knock down the fat kid. But he had a look in his eyes like he didnít even see me. When I realized he wasnít going to stop or even slow down, I jumped out of the way. But I didnít quite make it. We bumped into each other. I got slammed back into the lockers and he stumbled the other way.
ďWhat the fuck?Ē he said.
He was looking around like he had no idea what just happened. I was so mad I said something out loud I had never dared say to him before.
ďAsshole,Ē I blurted.
He didnít even look at me. He shrugged and started walking again. I made quite a noise when I slammed the lockers and he didnít even look my way then. One of his buddies, Bob, said, ďFunny, the way you walked into Lawrence and made it look like an accident.Ē
Steve gave him a puzzled look and said, ďWhat are you talking about?Ē
As they walked out, Bob was explaining how great it was how Steve had run me over and Steve was looking at Bob like he was crazy.
ďLawrence ainít even here today,Ē he was saying.
Thereís got to be more to this. Itís just too good to be true.

Diary Entry Dated Friday March 17, 1972

I tested this last night and it works. I tried it on Mom and Dad. I concentrated first on them not noticing me when I walked into the room but it didnít work. But it felt like I was trying to divide my concentration. So I tried it again, only just on Dad. I stood right in front of him while he was watching television and he didnít even notice. Mom finally said something to me about blocking his view but Dad asked her what she was talking about. My concentration broke and Dad suddenly said, ďI didnít even notice he was there.Ē I think he saw me but somehow I was preventing his conscious mind from registering the fact. How he could still see what was happening on the television, I donít know. I mean, I was blocking his view. Even if he didnít notice me, how did he still know what was happening on the TV? The human mind has so many untapped abilities.

Diary Entry Dated Friday March 24, 1972

Wow, what a week. Iíve been too busy living life to write about it. My concentration is getting a little better. That first encounter with Steve was sort of a fluke. I had no idea what was happening so I wasnít nervous about this ability. But once I tried to use it on purpose, any distraction broke my concentration. But Iím getting better. I guess itís like learning to walk. At first, you think youíll never be able to do it then you are doing it without even consciously thinking about it. Even though itís only been a week, it takes a serious distraction to break my concentration. Iíve got to keep practicing. I donít know what the limits of this ability are but Iím going to find out.

Diary Entry Dated Friday April 7, 1972

I have to start writing more but things donít change that much in one day and it seems as if all I care about now is this power. Well, why not? This doesnít happen every day. Itís getting easy to make one person at a time not notice me. Iím getting so I can make it work on two people at the same time. A couple of people started getting suspicious. For instance, I was concentrating on Steve not noticing me. My friend Neil walked up and started talking to me. To Steveís point of view, Neil was talking to himself.

Iíve tried to figure out what has happened to me. Itís pretty obvious though. There have always been rare people with superhuman abilities. Nobody really knows why. As the population increases, there are more such beings. Still, itís never been more than one person out of a couple of million. Most of the time, the abilities are fairly subtle even at that. Thereís that guy who can make flowers grow faster for instance. People like the guy who can bench forty tons and shrug off shells from a rocket launcher and that woman with the fire powers are the rarest of the rare. I think what I can do fits into the Ďsubtleí category but subtle doesnít always mean weak.

Diary Entry Dated Friday May 26, 1972

It was the last day of school. Itís the end of my freshman year of high school. I was expecting three more years of hell but maybe it wonít be so bad. Maybe it wonít be at all. Itís getting to the point where I can affect a lot of people. For a while, I had to look at them one at a time and think, ďYou donít see me. You donít hear me. You donít have any awareness of my presence here.Ē The cool thing is that it wasnít just that I turned invisible. It was more than that. It was like they had no awareness that I had ever been there to begin with. I donít mean they didnít remember me at all. They just didnít remember me being there right at that time. In the last month, Iíve gotten better at it. I was able to shorten my thoughts to, ďYou have no awareness of my presenceĒ. That covered everything. Then, as I kept practicing, it got to the point that I didnít even have to do that. I could just look at someone and concentrate for a moment. Then I could look at the next person and then the next one. The effect lasts long enough that I was able to make Steve, Bob and George, the three bullies that always hang together and seem to use me as their whipping boy, all forget I was there.

I used to hate school. Now I almost hate that school is ending for the summer. This is a small town. Why canít we go to school into June like a big city school? Well, no matter. Iím going to keep practicing all summer.

Diary Entry Dated Tuesday September 5, 1972

This was the first day back in school and my first chance to put my practice to the test with a large group of people. I kept practicing all summer. I think Iíll tell you about that first and then talk about what happened today in school. Okay, I suppose that someone reading this some day (who is ever going to read this besides me I donít know) might like a little background. Here we are in a small town in Northern Michigan. I am talking about way up in Northern Michigan, the Upper Peninsula. Technically, itís not even in a small town because we live out in the country. The school is in the town, of course. Anyway, during the summer, I went up the road to the neighborís house. One of the boys there is my age and in the same grade as me. Another boy is a year older than me. There is also a girl, three years younger. Mike, the boy my age, was out in the yard shooting hoops. He saw me coming and I just concentrated, ďYou have no awareness of my presence.Ē I know he saw me. He had started to say something. But then he just turned and kept shooting hoops. I walked by him and into the open garage. There was a side door from the garage into the house. I took a deep breath. This was really putting things to the test. I know Frank, the older boy, saw me. He probably assumed Mike had told me to come in. I got a little nervous and flubbed it at first. He started to say something to me. But I buckled down and focused.
ďYou- have- no- awareness- of- my- presenceĒ, I said out loud and saw he was looking through me before I had even finished saying it.

The mother and father were sitting in the living room. He was reading the newspaper and she was reading a book. I looked at the father and got him before he even knew I was there to begin with. He just went on reading. The mother looked up and smiled. She said, ďOh, hi Carson. Would you like-ď then she just looked down and continued reading as if I had never been there. Frank turned and said, ďWho are you talking to Mom?Ē
But she gave him a puzzled look and said she didnít remember saying anything. The girl, Jane, was apparently up in her room listening to music and she never did come down. I walked around the house for a few minutes, even sat and watched television with them while they had no awareness that I was there. But I didnít have all that much confidence in my abilities so I only stayed about five to ten minutes and then quietly left.

Yes, I know, not very exciting. But today in school was a trip. I got to my first period class before anybody else, that way I could see each person as they came through the door. By the time class started, I was sitting in a room of about two dozen people that had no awareness that I was there. Attendance was called and I was marked absent. I have never in my life had such a feeling of freedom, of being able to go anywhere and do anything unbothered. Towards the end of the hour, I started feeling like I needed to look at everyone and reinforce my Ďsuggestioní that they didnít notice me, like maybe it was starting to wear off. But that was no great effort. I just glanced at each person and it was done.

I decided to put myself to a greater test the next time. I went to my second hour class and did nothing to hide my presence. I wanted to make sure that the effect had worn off of everyone. When it did, that amazed me too. When they became aware of me, they reacted as if I had been there all along. So I decided that third hour would be the big test. This time, I made sure I was the last one in, late even. As the teacher started to admonish me for my tardiness, he became the first target, stopping in mid-sentence. Then I swept my gaze across the room, making sure to specifically look at each person. But it was just a matter of sweeping my gaze down each row of desks. It took only a few seconds and two dozen people had no awareness of me. I could walk up and down the aisles, stomp my feet and stand behind the teacher giving him bunny ears. I even wrote stuff on the blackboard and nobody saw me doing it or saw the chalk moving. A minute or so later, people started noticing the stuff written on the board and wondering how it got there but they did not notice me. And then, out in the hallway after class, I noticed Shauna Roberts and my most daring and risky idea came to me.

Present Day Footnote: Wednesday February 21, 2007

I didnít know it then but that idea, formed as a teenager, was to become the pattern of my existence with all the fun it implies and with all the isolation and loneliness that resulted as well.

Continuing Diary Entry Dated Tuesday September 5, 1972

Shauna Roberts is the hottest girl in school. Sheís a senior now, two years older than me. It makes me feel giddy just being near her. Every guy thinks she has the most fantastic body and is the most beautiful girl in the world. Until today, I was an infatuated with her as anyone else. Now Iím more infatuated with her. Now I know she is even more beautiful, has an even more perfect body, than I ever imagined. The sad part is that making her not notice me wasnít hard. Itís not as if she ever did to begin with. Oh, but enough whining. I played it smart. I lingered near the door to the girlís locker room. That way, I could do my ďYou have no awareness of my existenceĒ speech in my mind for each girl. Granted I didnít really need to think it out in so many words anymore but I was taking no chances.

I should explain that there were two entrances to the locker rooms. One was in a side hallway and the other was from the gym. After making sure I had Ďgottení most of the girls, I went around and walked into their gym class in progress. The girls mostly went through the side door, changed and went into gym class. This meant that there were only a few I had to Ďgetí after walking into their class. A few questions of ďWhat do you want?Ē ended as they forgot I was there.

I wasnít really there to spy on their gym class. I was just there to keep reinforcing the suggestion that they didnít perceive me. What I was really there for was what happened when class was over.

Present Day Footnote Dated Thursday February 22, 2007

Iím taking the liberty of preempting what I originally said in my diary and substituting my current view. What I said then was what youíd expect from a teenaged boy. Hell, what Iím going to say now might be what youíd expect from a teenaged boy. But if I could somehow go back in time and see what I saw then, Iím sure I would not react as I did then. Shauna seemed the hottest woman in the world to me back then. If I could go back as I am now and see her in that locker room, Iíd probably think she was just a kid, nice enough and all but just a kid, though she was eighteen. But at that time, I had never seen a woman naked before and she really was the best looking of any girl in school. My reaction back then was, shall we say, enthusiastic. Now, at the risk of embarrassing myself, Iíll let the readers see what I wrote back then.

Continuing Diary Entry Dated Tuesday September 5, 1972

Oh God, this power is unbelievable. I can stand here in the doorway to the shower completely unnoticed. No power in the world could be as good as or better than this. I feel giddy. My knees are shaking. Oh god in heaven, I had no idea how gorgeous she is, how perfect. When she started massaging her breasts with that soap, I thought I would lose it right then and there. I mean lose it in the dirty sense and lose control of the power. I had to take deep breaths and relax a little as the heat washed over me. I was sweating and not just because the steam from the shower made it hot in there. I was so tempted to walk into the shower and get a closer look, to walk right up to her. But my clothes would get drenched. It would be worth it, true, but I was also hesitant about how far I could push it without being noticed. What if she bumped into me? What if her naked, wet, glistening body slammed into mine? Would she know I was there? What if I wanted more than just seeing her? What if I was tempted to touch her? The same question arises. Would she be aware of it? Letís say she didnít notice. How much and in what ways could I touch her without her noticing? Thatís when the guilt hit me because I started thinking about what I was doing. Iím spying on these girls, invading their privacy. Iím a Peeping Tom. Of course, the guilt didnít stop me from looking. After all, I wasnít hurting anyone. They had no awareness that I was even there. There would be no shame or embarrassment for them. I was really more nervous about getting caught. Good old underconfidence. Maybe thatís why I got a power like this to begin with.

So anyway, they came out of the shower and I stood in the locker room feeling quite sweaty, watching every detail as they dressed. Well, truthfully, I didnít notice most of them dressing, mostly Shauna. And then I did something on an inspiration. No, I didnít touch her. I wasnít quite that brave. I followed her. I mean, I followed her for the rest of the day. I mentioned she was a senior so she had different classes than me. I blew off all my classes and just followed her into every class she had. When she went to the lunch room, I held back until most of the students got their meals and sat down as to avoid getting bumped. Iím sure a few people saw me in the lunch room before I swept everyone with my gaze. Then, unnoticed, I was able to stand right next to her table, listen to the things she said in conversation with other girls, be a silent and invisible ghost observing her life and feeling slightly a part of it in a way I knew was not going to happen in any other way.

I donít know what to make of myself. Am I a stalker? I donít think so. A stalker would make his presence known; try to have something with her. No, Iím just a Peeping Tom, a voyeur. No, Iím not just a voyeur. Iím the Ultimate Voyeur. If I ever became a super hero, maybe that should be my name. Yeah right, like a world famous hero being the ultimate voyeur isnít a contradiction in terms.

03-14-2007, 09:17 PM
Very good start...glad to have the new additions! Keep them coming!

03-15-2007, 12:17 AM
wow great start. I hope to see more from you very soon thanx Gloryboy

10-19-2007, 10:55 PM
this was differnt, very cleaver thank you for the story

10-20-2007, 09:00 AM
An excellant story theme, well narrated and clear... Thanks for sharing this here and keep up the good work...