PDA

View Full Version : cop yokes



Deputy Duffy
07-04-2007, 12:56 PM
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now
don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise
control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for
once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the
second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at
his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you
keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice
that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75
fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you
didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your
husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"


"Only when he's been drinking."


----------------------------------------------

A man just bought a new Ferrari and decided to take it out for a spin. HE's going 80 down the highway when he sees the lights behind him.
Thinking hey, theres no way the cops can catch me, he floors it.
Hitting 90, the cops gaining, at 100, the cops still gaining. When he hits 110, he thinks, What am I doing and pulls over

The cop walks up to his door and says, you better have a damn good reason for why you you were running.

Thinking quickly the man says " Last week my wife ran off with a cop, and I thought you were trying to give her back."

--------------

gypsy
07-04-2007, 01:15 PM
funny

davesmistress
07-04-2007, 10:28 PM
HAhahahaha tooo funny...hahahahaha

Deputy Duffy
07-04-2007, 11:39 PM
I am that funny...not

niteowluk2003
07-05-2007, 06:12 AM
What's the similiarity between a british Policeman and an Eskimo...

They both have bluw helmetss....hehehe

How can yoy tell the difference between a Policeman's truncheon and a Policewoman's?



The Policewoman's has batteries....LOL


Two American police officers were radio'd to an incident on Route 66...
Reports said that an Elephant had just done a ton up that freeway.

The Two officers advised to use it as a roiundabout till it was cleared...Lol


Someone broke into the Local police station overnight... Smashed all the toilets and urinals...police spokesman admits they have nothing to go on. Hehehe


Police here in london have just announced that someone broke in to Harrods ******** dept last night, and stole all the stock apart from the hair remover and the birth control pills..

Police are now looking for a bald roman catholic..Lol

The Irish secret police announced yesterday an amazing new breakthrough...

They had finally cracked the highway code...Hehehe

Deputy Duffy
07-05-2007, 06:23 AM
nice ones....niteowluk2003

davesmistress
07-05-2007, 10:16 PM
Funny niteowl...thanks

jaguar
07-08-2007, 08:41 AM
Damn good ones in there. Had both my fiance and myself laughing.:)