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wizardwriter
08-22-2007, 01:52 AM
The little cutie sent me these and I thought I should share:

The Stuttering Kitty:

A Teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the
only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she said.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the
girl to describe the incident and why she thought the cat stuttered.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that
lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the
fence into our yard!
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff,
Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say "Fuck", the rottweiler ate him!"


Thanks BlueGirl,
I loved it-

davesmistress
08-22-2007, 01:55 AM
Cute...thanks

wizardwriter
08-22-2007, 02:11 AM
Another from the lovely BlueGirl-

Squirrel Problem-

There were Five country churches in a small Tennessee Town :
A Presbyterian Church, A Baptist Church, A Methodist Church, A
Catholic Church and Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about
the squirrels.
After much prayer and consideration they Determined that the squirrels were
predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will..

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery.
The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the
squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many
there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position
to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set
them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic CHURCH came up with the best and most effective solution.
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter


Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue,
but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called
circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.


Here's a squirrelly picture

SecretScribe
08-22-2007, 04:19 AM
The little cutie sent me these and I thought I should share:

The Stuttering Kitty:

A Teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the
only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she said.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the
girl to describe the incident and why she thought the cat stuttered.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that
lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the
fence into our yard!
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff,
Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say "Fuck", the rottweiler ate him!"


roflmao

wizardwriter
08-22-2007, 04:39 AM
glad you enjoyed it SS,
I lmao too,
plenty to do around here, stop in the bar and have a beer or milk if you must, there's always a bunch of crazies around
have fun,
Wizard

freedom
08-22-2007, 05:32 AM
Love the kitty...sounds like a story I would have told in school

wizardwriter
08-22-2007, 05:46 AM
yeah, I got a kick out of it

dirty knees
08-23-2007, 07:41 PM
*teasing grin*
poor lil kitty
remember to never let WW around my kitty

wizardwriter
08-23-2007, 08:10 PM
Oh please, i'll be nice to your kitty-
I'm good with kitties and will have it purring in no time-
I'm a barbarian, not stupid

hawk9934
08-23-2007, 08:19 PM
Those are great.

NightsMuse
09-02-2007, 09:56 PM
Have to agree there they are.