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meliketaters
09-03-2007, 05:44 AM
First story...interested in feedback...Thanks!

The bank robbers were cornered, there was no way out. The people in the bank huddled in a corner with their heads down. The first bank robber paced by them in his ski mask. He was a short, muscular man holding a small pistol. The second, a much taller yet averagely built man, walked over wearing his identical ski mask and started to whisper to the first.
“Joe,” the second man said, “the cops weren’t supposed to show up that fast! What the fuck are we gonna do?”
“Damn it Rob,” he said, “I’m thinking!”
“Well think faster!”
A set of blue eyes were staring at them through small glasses. When Rob noticed this, she quickly put her eyes back down.
“What are you staring at Bitch,” Rob yelled!
Continuing to stare at the floor, she didn’t answer. Rob took two giant steps toward her, grabbed her arm roughly and made her look into his dark brown eyes.
“I fucking asked you a question Bitch! What are you staring at”
“N-n-nothing” she managed to say.
“It didn’t look like nothing” he said.
” Hey, this young lady just gave me an idea,” chimed Joe, “What we need to get the cops attention is a hostage.”
“No,” she yelled with terror and panic in her voice, “Get off of me!”
Rob looked up and down her short and slender body. She had to be no more than 20 years old. He finally let his eyes relax on the v-neck of her light pink sweater. Her tits had to be atleast Cs, he thought.
“Well, if that’s the plan,” Rob said with an evil smile, “Let’s hurry up”
The girl tried to pry Rob’s hand off her arm which just tightened. She pleaded the whole time he dragged her to her feet and it wasn’t until he placed the gun to her head that she became obedient.
“Listen Bitch,” Rob said, “Either be a good lil Bitch and do as you’re told, or kiss your brains goodbye!”
And with that, he led the way with her in front of him. The other people in the bank didn’t do or say anything to help her. They were even afraid to look up.
Once outside, the police all focused their attention on the hostage.
“Take it easy,” the police captain said to his men, “we need to get the hostage back safe and sound.”
“Back up,” Joe yelled at the cops, “or we’ll shoot the girl! Now I want a clear path away from our car. If anyone follows she dies. And no helicopters either. Got it?!”
The police backed away and made the path for the car to travel down. Rob produced the keys and the two robbers and their hostage slowly climbed into the car, Rob driving and Joe and the hostage in the back. Rob loved to drive. He swerved down a few streets, zig-zagged down another few, and finally pulled into a garage.
“Come on,” Joe said to the girl.
Rob grabbed their bags and they jumped in another car and sped off.
“See,” Joe said to the girl, “Those dumb pigs will be looking for the wrong car now.”
Rob and Joe laughed. Rob pulled his mask off but kept his face forward so that she couldn’t see what he looked like yet. They were starting to relax now. Joe held the girl close to him he put his face against her neck, took a handful of her long, curly brown hair, and smelled the locks. The girl shuttered and her breathing increased.
“So what’s your name Bitch,” he asked her.
She was too scared to answer. His grip tightened on her hair and her back arched from the pain.
“Em-emily,” she managed to gasp.
“Such a sweet name for a bitch like yourself,” Joe whispered in her ear.
His hand released her hair and traveled down her back, across her hip, and to her upper thigh. The black skirt she was wearing was starting to ride up. He extended his arm to the end of her skirt and slipped under the skirt. When his cold hand made contact with her warm leg Emily shivered. He brought his hand lightly back up her thigh and brushed up against her panties.
“Please stop,” she whispered to him.
She felt his fingertips come under her panty line n trace the elastic band. Tears started to fall from her eyes.
“We’re here,” Rob yelled!
Joe withdrew his hand quickly and covered Emily’s eyes. Together, Rob and Joe got her out of the car while managing to keep her eyes covered. They entered a building and headed down stairs. They turned a few times and then a final door opened and closed.
“I’ll find something to tie her up,” said Rob as he disappeared behind a corner.
Joe pulled off his mask and turned her to face him. He had wavy dark brown hair on top of a round face. He was just a little taller than her, perhaps 5’3.
“Any loud noises and you’re dead,” he warned waving the gun in her face, “Understand?!”
She nodded just as Rob came up behind her with a phone cord. He grabbed her arms roughly behind her back and tied the cord around them several times. They drug her into another room and threw her down onto a mattress that lay on the floor. The cord cut into her skin as she adjusted. She looked over and got her first good look at Rob. Compared to Joe, who was standing next to him, he was a good head higher. He had to be at least 5’10. His hair was dirty blonde and buzzed short on top of his narrow face. They were discussing what to do with the girl.
“We went to all the trouble of bringing her along,” Joe said, “so why not have a little fun with her.”
“She’s seen too much,” Rob exclaimed, “let’s just kill her and get out of here. We got plenty of money now to get outta here.”
Joe walked over to her and bent down. He ran his hand gently across her face.
“It’d be such a waste though,” Joe pleaded, “I’ll let you have the first go.”
Rob looked down at her lying on the bed. He loved the look of helplessness on her face. What would it hurt, he thought, Joe hadn’t steered him wrong so far.
“No,” he said, turning to leave the room, “it was your idea, you can have the first go. Besides, I want to count the money before I get distracted.”
“Please,” Emily begged, “Don’t hurt me. I’ll do whatever you want. Please.”
Joe turned her onto her back and spread her legs apart causing her skirt to ride up to her waist.
“Now wait a minute,” he paused, “those panties have got to go!”
He closed her legs and yanked her panties down. Emily tried to wiggle away but only aided her attacker. She tried to spread her legs to stop him from sliding her panties completely off. His strength was too much for her and before she could try anything else, her panties were dangling off one foot.
“That’s better,” Joe cooed into her ear.
He pulled her legs apart again and stared down at her bare pussy.
“I love a clean puss,” he complimented.
He traced his index finger from the top of her pussy crack slowly down. When he traced back up, he exerted a little more pressure. He could feel the dampness of her excitement on his fingertip.
“I think you like this more than you will admit,” he teased.
“Get off me, stop, please,” she begged.
He turned his hand and pressed his finger into her pussy. Her back arched and she whimpered. He pulled back and pressed into her again harder. She wriggled more as he prepared to slide a second finger in her. As his two fingers plunged into her, a moan escaped her lips.
“O, you like that, don’t you Bitch,” Joe said softly as he continued to pump his fingers in her.
A tear trickled down the side of her face. He loved how vulnerable she was right now. He decided to stretch her more and pressed a third finger in her. This time he had to wiggle his fingers into her and press harder. Her eyes widened as her pussy stretched to accommodate his three fingers. She whimpered and moaned more as he moved his fingers in and out again. Shortly after, he pulled his fingers out and licked them.
“Mmm,” he said licking his lips, “you taste good.”
Joe lowered his head to her pussy. Her legs kicked in protest but it wouldn’t stop him from getting what he wanted. He used his right hand to spread her lips apart. She could feel his warm breath against her. Her legs settled as his tongue flicked over her clit. He swirled his tongue around and then sucked her clit. With her legs relaxed, he used his free hand to insert two fingers in again while keeping his tongue focused on pleasuring her clit. More moans escaped her lips and her breathing became heavier and uncontrolled. Thoughts pounded through her head. Why was she enjoying this? Why did it have to feel so good? Maybe it was better to enjoy it, for her life’s sake.
“You like it, don’t you,” he said, “You like the way I play with your pussy.”
He continued more vigorously licking and finger-fucking her. Her hips were bucking and she was moaning like crazy. Just as soon as he had started, he stopped. She was out of breath when he crawled on top of her and kissed her. His tongue intruded into her mouth and his hand groped her tit. He pulled away and got up.
“Don’t move,” he commanded as he exited the room.
Not even a minute later he reemerged with a pair of scissors. Her heart hammered with fear and her eyes followed the scissors as he walked over to her. He bent down on the bed and lowered the scissors to her stomach. Slowly, he cut open her sweater and then worked on her bra which was a little thicker. Finally, her breasts fell free. He threw the scissors aside and stared in wonder at his new-found treasure. Her breasts were full and round and her nipples erect.
“Are your nipples sensitive,” he asked.
Joe’s hand groped her right breast; his fingers came up to pinch her nipples. Meanwhile, he lowered his head down and ran his tongue gently around her nipple. He let his mouth engulf her nipple as his hand gently massaged her other breast.
“Mmm,” Emily mumbled and her eyes closed.
“I’m gonna fuck you good,” Joe told her.
He sat up and pulled his shirt off. Emily opened her eyes and look up at him. His muscles rippled as he undid his pants. Her eyes looked down at his zipper which was now coming down. He pulled his pants off, along with his boxer shorts. His penis was average length but thicker than she was used to with her boyfriend. He lowered himself on top of her again and positioned his cock against her pussy lips.
“Wait, please,” she said, “Don’t.”
“You’ve liked it so far,” he said, “so lay back and take it.”
And before she could say another word, he plunged into her. Emily groaned in pain. Joe, on the other hand, felt nothing but pleasure as his cock stretched her tight pussy more. He held her legs as he pumped into her. Their moans mixed together as his pace increased. His right hand dropped to her pussy and his thumb started massaging her clit. This drove her wild. She couldn’t control the flood of pleasure this caused. She cried out. Her body shook and her pussy pulsed as an orgasm rocketed through her body. His right hand shot back up to her leg and he held her more tightly. With one last pump his own body exploded. Pressure built inside her as his sperm pumped into her. When he pulled out, sperm leaked out her full pussy. She lay there breathless and unable to speak. Joe got up, grabbed his shirt, and cleaned up her pussy. He then took the time to clean himself up. He pulled his boxers and pants on, grabbed the scissors, and left the room.
It was starting to get cold inside the room. Emily shivered. She was tired but afraid to sleep. She tried looking around, her arms were getting sore. Her eyes closed, she would just rest them for a little. It was dark when her eyes opened. Someone had entered the room. She heard someone to her left. Then, the light came on and Rob was standing over the bed. Emily’s eyes blinked to adjust to the light. Rob didn’t say a word, he just stared down at her. This creeped her out.
“Please,” she cried, “let me go. I’ll do any...”
He slapped her hard across the face.
“Shut your fucking face,” he spat at her, “I don’t wanna hear you whine.”
He then turned her over onto her stomach.
“Lift your ass,” he demanded.
Afraid of what he’d do, she lifted her ass up. Rob grabbed her ass cheeks and pushed her ass up more. Her back hurt with the angle she was forced into. The cord cut into her arms more.
“Stay there,” he told her as clothes fell to the side of the bed.
The bed sank slightly as he placed one foot on the bed. Her ass had fallen slightly so he forced it back up and smacked her cheek hard.
“Oww,” she cried.
Tears flung from her face with the force of the second blow.
“I said, don’t speak,” he commanded.
He slid two fingers roughly into her pussy without saying a word. She was damp but not wet enough for him. He pulled his hand away and wiped his fingers on her ass. He pressed one finger into her asshole and twisted it around. Her ass retreated at this intrusion and was met with another rough blow. He held her cheeks and spit onto her asshole. He inserted his finger into her hole again. He spit one last time on her asshole and pressed his cock against the hole. Her eyes bulged as he struggled to force his cock into her virgin ass. Despite the awaiting blows, she struggled against him. His hand delivered the blows fast and furiously upon her ass. He dug his fingers into her hips as he fucked her ass hard. Blood trickled down from where his nails were. She cried more and tried to yell. He forced her head into the mattress to silence her. His brutality continued as her cries were muffled by the mattress. Emily felt dizzy, she could barely breath. The pain was unbearable. Everything got fuzzy and she started to blackout. Finally, he pulled out and exploded onto her back. He jacked off until only droplets fell from his cock. He turned her over and stood over her head.
“Clean it,” he told her.
She opened her mouth in protest and he forced his cock into her mouth. The taste was terrible. She tried to spit him out but he just pulled her head closer. In a last ditch effort, she brought her teeth down on his penis.
“Oww,” he howled, “Stupid Cunt!”
He backhanded her hard. His hand wrapped around her throat. He screamed at her and shook her. Her eyes rolled around and then finally went back. Her shaking body slowed to a twitch.
When she woke she found Joe beside her cleaning her. He sported a fresh black eye. Her mouth was now gagged with a rag.
“I don’t know what you said or did, but man was he pissed,” he told her, “He fucking gave me a nice shiner trying to pull him off you. He wanted to kill you right then and there. Lucky for you, I talked him out of it…for now.”
Emily’s ass was sore, her hips hurt, and she still felt dizzy. Joe left and Rob reemerged. Her eyes got wide, she wanted Joe to come back. She couldn’t believe he’d leave her alone with him after what just happened.
“Listen here you fucking bitch,” Rob said grabbing a handful of her hair, “If you don’t do as you’re told, you’re dead. You’re lucky I owe Joe, so I didn’t kill you…yet.” “Now Bitch,” Rob said with an evil smile, “I think you need to be punished for that bite you gave me.”
He picked her off the floor and threw her over a nearby chair. He walked over to the closet on the other side of the room and withdrew a belt. Folding it in two, he walked over to where her ass was in the air. He ran his hand over her smooth, red ass.
“Don’t worry,” he assured, “this won’t hurt ME a bit!”
And with that, he brought the belt down hard across her cheeks. She screamed into the gag as another blow lashed into her ass leaving a bright red glow. On the third blow, he drew blood. More blood trickled down her ass as his fourth blow came across. Tears flew from her face as another five, six, seven blows fell. Just when she thought it was over, he picked her up by her hair and threw her on the bed. He turned her onto her back so that her tied arms thrust her breasts out in the air. His next assault with the belt came upon her breasts. Her body writhed as the pain shot through her body. By the fourth blow, bloody cuts formed across both her breast. She lost count after the eighth blow, but sometime after that the punishment ended.
“Don’t move,” he told her.
Rob pulled down his pants and pulled her on top of him. Grunting, he pushed his cock into her pussy. It took him a minute since she was fairly dry. She bit down on her gag to prevent her from making a sound. He bounced her up and down on his cock harder and faster each time. She moaned slightly which, thankfully, he approved of.
“Yea take it Bitch,” he said, “You know you want more.”
She decided to give him what he wanted. She was afraid to cross him again. When he brought her down on him the next time, she tried to grind her hips on him.
“O yea Bitch,” he responded, “Fuck me back.”
The grinding she added was not only increasing her captor’s pleasure, but hers as well. Her moans were muffled by the gag and her body started to shake again. An orgasm swept through her body. Rob slammed her down one final time and held her down as he pumped his own seed into her. Next, he threw her onto the bed and walked to the doorway to call Joe in.
She cried on the bed, wondering if this torture would ever end.
Not even a minute after this thought, both men stood beside the bed looking at her. This is it, she thought, they’re going to kill me. But it seemed they weren’t through with her.
“Man, what the hell did you do to her,” Joe asked Rob, “she looks like hell.”
“Nothing,” Rob said coldly, “I just taught our Bitch a lesson. Hopefully she’s learned to behave.”
Any clothing remaining on her attackers was stripped away. Rob sat on the end of the bed and pulled her on top of him facing away towards Joe. He spread her ass cheeks apart and stuffed his cock into her ass unceremoniously. His cock was still damp from being up her pussy, but that didn’t stop the pain Emily felt as her ass was assaulted again. Joe knelt by the bed and started to fondle her breasts. He took her left tit into his mouth and started to suck while Rob continued fucking her ass.
And then Rob leaned back to lay on the bed and spread her pussy lips apart, “Stuff her lil pussy,” he told Joe.
Joe smiled and straddled his friend and his victim. He knelt as best he could with his left leg, trying to keep as much of his weight of his friend as possible. Joe ran his finger lightly between her spread lips and she shivered. He pressed his cock to her pussy and eased into her slowly. As he increased his pace, both men worked into a rhythm. Both men pressed into her at the same time and then pulled back. In and out, they pounded into her. Her breasts shook with every thrust. Robs arms came around her to squeeze her tits and hold them steady. Heavy breathing filled the room. Grunts from the men filled her ears. Rob pinched her nipples violently. Joe used his left arm to help support him as he let his right brush against her throbbing clit. With one little pinch Emily was sent over the edge again. The men, paying little attention to their victim’s orgasm, continued their savage raping. Joe was the first to cum in her. His leg and arm gave out and he sunk on top of her completely out of breath. He pulled out and stood up.
“Good,” said Rob, “I want to fuck her like the Bitch she is.”
With that, Joe helped pull the trembling Emily up to allow Rob to slide out from under her. He grabbed the chair that was nearby and threw onto her stomach over top of it. He bent his knees and positioned himself into her now drenched pussy. Joe walked around to where her head was and bent down to be eye to eye with her.
As he caressed her cheek he asked, “If I take the gag off will you be a good girl and do as you’re told?”
Unable to speak she tried to nod, her eyes blinked rapidly as she struggled to focus. Joe untied the knot and let the gag fall to the floor. He pressed the tip of his soft cock to her face and rubbed it against her lips.
“Suck me clean baby,” he told her.
Obediently she opened her mouth and started to suck his cock. Almost immediately his cock started to harden again. He thrust into her mouth occasionally, causing her to deep throat him and gag. Each time she gagged Rob smacked her ass hard. Red welts started to form like hand prints on her cheeks by the fifth or sixth time. Rob’s fingers dug into her hair and he tugged hard as he thrusted again. Finally, Rob slammed into her for his final time, pulling some hairs out of her scalp. Hot jets of cum filled her pussy yet again. As if timed, Joe pumped another load down her throat. Emily gagged as she tried to swallow as much as she could. Some dribbled down the side of her lips. As both men backed away, she rolled off the chair and onto the floor completely exhausted. She must have passed out again because when she opened her eyes her mouth was gagged again, she was lying on the bed, and she could hear the men having an argument outside.
“Look, I wanted to kill her when we first brought her here,” Rob said, “We can have plenty of women now, she’s too much of a liability to keep for long. Besides, we have to get out of here just in case they CAN pin that robbery on us.”
“I know but isn’t it fun having her around,” Joe laughed, “she’s our slave, our bitch, our pet.”
“I think you’re a little too attached to her damn it,” Rob yelled at him.
“Hey,” Joe retorted, “I just like having fun with her. That’s all.”
“Well the fun’s over,” Rob continued, “we ditch her tonight.”
Joe came back in the room and she struggled to a sitting position and tried to move away from him.
“Settle down now,” he told her.
She looked up in horror at him. He looked back with understanding in his eyes.
“Look,” he said, “we can’t keep you forever. You had to know this was coming sooner or later.”
Desperately she yelled into the gag and struggled more. He raised his hands to her and pulled the knot apart on her gag. Surprised, she stopped her yelling. Joe leaned into her and pressed his rough, chapped lips to hers. Hers were soft and welcoming. He put his hand behind her head and pressed himself to her harder. His tongue slipped into her mouth and brushed against hers. He broke away and returned the gag to her mouth when he heard footsteps just outside the door. Rob emerged with the gun and walked over to Joe.
Handing him the gun, he told Joe, “You do it. Prove she’s just nothing.”
Joe took the gun into his shaking hand and raised it to her head. She tried to crawl away but Rob came behind her and held her steady.
“Do it,” he encouraged, “kill her and let’s get outta here.”
She was beyond tears now. Her eyes looked into his begging for mercy and pity. They stared back with fear and confusion.
“Come on,” Rob said, “hurry up.”
Joe was at a loss for what to do. Thief and robber he may be, kidnapper he may have become in desperation, but he was sure he was no murderer.
“I can’t,” he cried as his defeated eyes fell to the floor.
“Jeez you’re such a baby,” Rob scolded, “Let me do it.”
He wrenched the gun from Joe’s fingers and raised it. With one swift pull of the trigger it would all be over.
“Wait, stop,” Joe yelled and he sprang up knocking Emily and Rob over. The gun went off but flew to the floor and skidded away. The bullet hit just above Emily's head. Both men were now struggling on the floor together. A gleam of silver sliced through the air. The knife Rob kept on him at all times was now in his hand.
“Fuck you,” Rob told Joe.
“Stop,” Joe said to Rob, “just settle down will ya.”
But Rob was furious. Both men writhed on the floor. Emily lay on her side staring at the two men. Suddenly, the flash of silver slashed through the room and the knife buried itself in Joe’s right side. With a sick groan, Joe was aside.
“First,” he thundered, “I’ll kill your girlfriend. Then, I’m coming to finish you off. I’ve listened to you for far too long.”
Rob picked the gun up and strode over to where Emily lay and pointed it at her head. She closed her eye’s not knowing what to expect.
Seconds later, there was a loud crash, a yell, and a gunshot. Rob fell to the floor as blood sprayed onto her clothes. Emily would later learn that a neighbor had heard the gunshot and called the police. Minutes later Joe and Emily were loaded on stretchers and taken to the hospital. The coroner came to examine Rob’s body. Joe pleaded guilty to the robbery, the kidnapping, and the rape. Emily spoke in front of the judge and got Joe’s sentence reduced to ten years. She’d never forgive him for kidnapping and raping her, but saving her life was enough to earn her thanks. Emily was never the same after her attack. Her boyfriend tried to console her, but he couldn’t stop the nightmares. With therapy though, she was able to grow stronger from her ordeal.
Therapy solves everything! THE END!!

davesmistress
09-03-2007, 06:01 AM
Thanks for the story....look forward to more.

freedom
09-03-2007, 06:05 AM
Very hot thanks for sharing

The only advice I can give is maybe flesh out the stuff that happened after she was rescued but all in all great story :)

frozen_north
09-03-2007, 07:02 PM
Good story, aside from what Freedom said, the only thing I could say would be to make sure you leave spaces between your paragraphs for internet viewing. A large wall of words is a strain on the eyes and will tend to deter many readers.

meliketaters
10-08-2007, 03:34 PM
BTW Thanks everyone for the encouragement and ideas...nothing wrong with constructive critism! I look forward to posting more!!

cum4me
10-08-2007, 09:26 PM
I look foward to reading more of your stories

niteowluk2003
10-09-2007, 05:00 AM
well worked story line except where she is rescued could be better laid out say in a second chapter and expanded...

darcylynn
10-22-2007, 11:20 PM
Taters! Wow! Just goes to show that you never really know anyone. I know you are a good lover, although I haven't expierienced it firsthand yet. But I never took you for a writer. I LOVED! the story. It was awesomely hot and I had two orgasms reading it. The way you wrote it made it so realistic and your descriptions were perfect. You just blew me away. You are amazing
Kisses and licks

cum4me
11-01-2007, 02:39 AM
Ive noticed on the poll that some people voted that your story wasnt very good, just so you know it was great. Some people like a certian way a story is writtin, and every author writes differintly and they dont like that style, I personaly I like your style, and so do other people so keep em cumming

BTB59
01-03-2008, 07:08 AM
good story, i voted average only because I thought the end was weak. overall I really enjoyed it tho