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View Full Version : Never say to a naked Woman



davesmistress
09-20-2006, 02:28 AM
I saw the opposite for this on another site...thought the flip side might be fun


Never say to a naked woman________________;bf;

madhan
09-20-2006, 03:12 AM
Mowing never seems to finish today.....Ok, I willl be there soon!

davesmistress
09-20-2006, 03:43 AM
Do those watch you tie your shoes?....hahaha

madhan
09-20-2006, 03:57 AM
Now I know why you need a supportive bra.

davesmistress
09-20-2006, 04:01 AM
Hhahaha and you call those nipples?

davesmistress
09-24-2006, 08:10 AM
Is that bush gardens?

MYDaddysBox
10-01-2006, 08:33 PM
what the hell happened to them? where the hell did they go?

cactuscock
10-02-2006, 03:50 PM
do you reallly talk with those lips.......

cactuscock
10-02-2006, 03:51 PM
it must be a bitch nowing your tits enter a room a half hr before you do...

cactuscock
10-03-2006, 01:48 PM
is there and echo in here?..lol sorry that was bad..

davesmistress
10-03-2006, 02:18 PM
Ive seen less wrinkles on a sharpee.....( dog of course not sure of spelling)

sorbus
10-03-2006, 02:23 PM
Gal, I think that fish you keep in your cunt has died.....:rolleyes: :jo ;) :cool:

davesmistress
10-03-2006, 02:32 PM
Do you need some fruit to go with that cottage cheese?....

cactuscock
10-03-2006, 02:35 PM
if i have told you once ,i have told you a 100 times,I cant carry you home like a six pack from the store anymore. the paper bag keeps rippin.

davesmistress
10-03-2006, 02:37 PM
Ok now turn around...hummm turn around again...thats funny are you sure thats your ass back there?

cactuscock
10-03-2006, 02:39 PM
ive seen smaller holes on bowling ballsssss.

MYDaddysBox
10-03-2006, 10:32 PM
did you clean your coffee pot i smell vinigar down there

i like breakfast in bed but those arent even pancakes...

davesmistress
10-04-2006, 02:57 AM
Hahahahahaha you guys are silly......

cactuscock
10-04-2006, 04:19 AM
thats what my other girl friend looks like..,,,unless of course the cast iron frying pan is not within reach...

davesmistress
10-04-2006, 04:41 AM
Ive seen bigger boobs when I fry and egg.....

cactuscock
10-04-2006, 03:25 PM
hahahahah i like that one..lol

davesmistress
10-04-2006, 03:34 PM
Thanks...

Ohhh you call those dimples.....

cactuscock
10-04-2006, 09:36 PM
do i have to answer that question .lol

cactuscock
10-07-2006, 04:58 AM
or take it offf take it offf put it back on put it back onnnnnnn!!!!!!..

davesmistress
10-07-2006, 05:22 AM
hahahahah thats good....

That is your Butt?....hummm I thought you had a horse with those saddle bags...

cum4me
11-02-2007, 02:24 AM
your sister was better

Archas
11-02-2007, 03:48 AM
no

wizardwriter
11-02-2007, 05:33 AM
your daughter is hot, and could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch

blueshark
11-02-2007, 05:51 AM
Is that what you looked like last night?

wizardwriter
11-02-2007, 06:19 AM
*with one eye open first thing in the morning* Whoa, what the fuck was i drinking last night?

cum4me
11-05-2007, 10:48 PM
wow your moms tits dont even sag that much

Carrot74
11-07-2007, 07:42 PM
"Hey, you better call the Police!"
"Why? What is wrong?"
"Someone stole your tits."

davesmistress
11-07-2007, 07:47 PM
Hhahha

Is there a pussy under all that Bush?

Carrot74
11-07-2007, 07:48 PM
Wow! That's quite the.... lips... you have there. Is that real leather?

davesmistress
11-07-2007, 07:50 PM
hahahaha oh my

Boobs? I thought those were cow udders.!!!!!!

Carrot74
11-07-2007, 07:54 PM
Do those... need to be, um, milked?

davesmistress
11-07-2007, 07:55 PM
You want me to put my mouth on that?

Carrot74
11-07-2007, 07:58 PM
What does that tattoo above your crotch say? Oh, I'm sorry - I thought the wrinkle was a tattoo.

davesmistress
11-07-2007, 07:59 PM
Ha Ha Ha

Carrot74
11-07-2007, 08:05 PM
(Is that what you would say to.... Laughter?)
Well, I have to take my pill now.

cum4me
11-09-2007, 11:47 PM
waa, I need more to drink

blueshark
11-10-2007, 05:15 AM
I thought you were a blonde..

cum4me
11-12-2007, 09:00 PM
I hope I dont get lost down there

cum4me
11-13-2007, 03:49 AM
did you make tunafish today?

Carrot74
11-15-2007, 10:26 PM
Could you help me find your..... never mind.

cum4me
11-15-2007, 10:28 PM
lol
Is that grey hair?

Carrot74
11-15-2007, 10:30 PM
Do you EVER trim this?

cum4me
11-15-2007, 10:34 PM
Damn you definitely aint no virgin

bumlover
11-16-2007, 01:29 AM
your sisters is neater :eek:

cum4me
11-16-2007, 01:38 AM
damn it I told you to turn the lights off then get naked

Carrot74
11-16-2007, 08:20 PM
You call that sexy?

Vivienne4U
12-04-2007, 12:20 PM
Uuuups... Sorry, Bro'!:D

Carrot74
12-08-2007, 05:21 AM
Put that away!

cum4me
12-10-2007, 08:29 PM
are you sure your clean

Carrot74
03-27-2008, 11:00 PM
You did say that you have done this before - right?

Archas
04-14-2008, 04:50 AM
Your how old again? prove it, show me your id.

Carrot74
04-19-2008, 08:35 AM
I've seen bigger lumps in oatmeal.

wfcall
07-20-2008, 05:44 AM
My wife has bigger tits

jaguar
07-20-2008, 08:37 AM
Are you a pirate's daughter? Cos you have a sunken chest!

davesmistress
07-20-2008, 05:10 PM
Your Kidding Right?

jaguar
07-20-2008, 05:16 PM
Are they for real?

wfcall
07-20-2008, 05:53 PM
get dressed

jaguar
07-21-2008, 08:53 AM
What are those lumps?

jaguar
07-21-2008, 08:56 AM
What are those scabs?

jaguar
07-23-2008, 10:15 AM
What are those? lol.....

davesmistress
07-26-2008, 06:45 PM
I thought the ass was in the back?

Father_Perv
07-26-2008, 08:48 PM
three rings in a row.......... nipple, belly button, nipple ............ opppsssssssss

davesmistress
07-26-2008, 08:54 PM
I thought cottage cheese went in the fridge?

Father_Perv
07-26-2008, 08:57 PM
cute dimples .....oh sorry

davesmistress
07-26-2008, 09:10 PM
Thigh master? Heard of it?

Father_Perv
07-26-2008, 10:07 PM
all that jiggle ain't wiggle.................

jaguar
07-27-2008, 07:39 AM
Do you know anything about cellulose?

bert
08-03-2008, 02:37 AM
When a fat lady has to many cracks ...

Go get some flour I need to role you to find the wet spot.

bert
08-03-2008, 02:38 AM
I've had tighter fitting boots.

jaguar
08-03-2008, 09:04 AM
And that's supposed to get me in the mood.....

Roadbug
08-03-2008, 10:21 AM
Eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk.............;fa

Roadbug
08-03-2008, 10:28 AM
I think you better give up on yer bra and get ya a wheelbarrow instead:eek:

jaguar
08-04-2008, 09:20 AM
Do the crabs bungee jump from those?

Chrissie The Terrapin
08-04-2008, 12:20 PM
"I`m not really into undead roleplaying"

Father_Perv
08-04-2008, 03:23 PM
Hi, I'm from the Health Department.... We've had a complaint ..........................

bert
08-05-2008, 07:52 AM
Will you put this paper bag on your head please!!! :D

jaguar
08-05-2008, 08:23 AM
Isn't that my dad's engagement ring?

jaguar
08-05-2008, 08:23 AM
Isn't that my sister's leash? lol...

jaguar
08-14-2008, 08:29 AM
Do you know what a d-i-e-t is?

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:35 AM
and God took a rib from me to make that?

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:36 AM
are you sure your over 18?

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:37 AM
Hey, watch out you can poke a guys eye out with one of those.

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:37 AM
Who are you? and what have you done with my real girlfriend?

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:38 AM
You want me to stick my what where?

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:39 AM
My God, let me get a picture for Ripley's believe it or Not!

sheldon
08-20-2008, 12:40 AM
Did you get those caught in the blender?

jaguar
08-20-2008, 09:00 AM
Who paid for those?

sheldon
10-08-2008, 10:12 PM
Didn't I see you pictured in National Geographic?

sheldon
10-08-2008, 10:14 PM
Now that looks just like the drawing on the bathroom wall.

sheldon
10-08-2008, 10:16 PM
Oh yea, that reminds me, I want to go fishing tomorrow.

sheldon
10-08-2008, 10:18 PM
My God! you should sue that plastic surgeon.

sheldon
10-08-2008, 10:19 PM
How did you know I was thinking of that TV show Twin Peaks?

jaguar
10-10-2008, 07:44 AM
I could park a truck in there!

jaguar
11-01-2008, 12:23 AM
When did you get out?

bigizzy
11-06-2008, 04:04 AM
*as they lay in bed after a night of wild passion* you know what I found on one of those ****** family tree deals.....You're my second cousin!

jaguar
11-06-2008, 09:02 AM
I must have been blind drunk!

jaguar
11-07-2008, 05:29 AM
Where are my glasses?

bigizzy
11-14-2008, 06:22 PM
Where'd you come from?

jaguar
11-15-2008, 03:01 AM
where'd I pick you up from?

bigizzy
11-15-2008, 03:11 AM
My bad!

jaguar
11-15-2008, 05:13 AM
Can I have my arm back or do I have to chew it off? lol

bigizzy
11-15-2008, 05:31 AM
Ow! Ow! OW! OOOWWWW!!! That's not a Hot Dog!

jaguar
11-15-2008, 10:18 PM
your ass......I've seen less lines at a cocaine party!

jaguar
11-15-2008, 10:19 PM
Your legs......I've seen less dimples in a baby nursery!

jaguar
11-15-2008, 10:20 PM
Your stomache.....I've seen less rolls at a bakery!

Sorry, but when I get this mindset, I just give in to my imagination! lol.....

bigizzy
11-15-2008, 10:43 PM
your lips.....taste like a lard factory joined forces with a cigarrete factory

jaguar
11-16-2008, 12:23 AM
Eeww! Good one bigizzy.

Your breasts.....look like they were made by Michelin!

bigizzy
11-16-2008, 02:47 AM
are those boobs or giant air ships to float with?

jaguar
11-16-2008, 05:44 AM
Do you use one bar stool or two for that ass?

bigizzy
11-16-2008, 06:02 AM
Fuck honey, that pussy is gettin' harder and harder to find!

jaguar
11-16-2008, 06:21 AM
Do I need the flour again?

bigizzy
11-16-2008, 08:06 PM
snnngggghhhkkkkk....snnnnnggghhkkkkkk.....*snoring *

jaguar
11-17-2008, 05:50 AM
Move it, honey, you know you want me to call again.

bigizzy
11-17-2008, 07:04 AM
Did anybody lose track of their blimp?!

jaguar
11-17-2008, 07:44 AM
My god! You'll never sink with those chesticles!

bigizzy
11-17-2008, 02:53 PM
uhhh...*oggle*....ummmmm....*oggle* ahhhhh....*oggle*

jaguar
11-17-2008, 06:40 PM
That's just wrong!

bigizzy
11-19-2008, 04:08 AM
forgive me madam!

jaguar
11-19-2008, 07:51 AM
The Pleasure was all yours!

bigizzy
11-19-2008, 06:20 PM
Wow! those are huge!

jaguar
11-20-2008, 07:05 AM
Move it! I gotta take a shit!

jaguar
11-23-2008, 12:23 AM
You must've been a cute kid, cos you still got a lot of dimples.......

bigizzy
11-23-2008, 03:52 AM
What gene pool are you from?

jaguar
11-23-2008, 04:33 AM
What zoo did you escape from?

bigizzy
11-23-2008, 06:57 PM
Is your husband blind?

jaguar
11-24-2008, 06:49 AM
Get off! You're suffocating me!

bigizzy
11-24-2008, 07:31 PM
Hello? City Zoo? I found that elephant you were looking for!

jaguar
11-25-2008, 05:27 AM
Hello? Psychiatric hospital? I found that nutbag you were looking for!

jaguar
11-29-2008, 05:38 AM
Can you take your teeth out please?

jaguar
11-29-2008, 09:06 PM
Fuck you're ugly! Now put down the knife........

Brigit Astar
11-30-2008, 02:11 PM
what's that snakelike thing between your legs

bigizzy
12-01-2008, 04:11 AM
lay off the twinkies will ya!

jaguar
12-01-2008, 07:00 AM
hey! You can't have one of those!

bigizzy
12-01-2008, 08:14 PM
can you wiggle that worm between your legs?

jaguar
12-02-2008, 06:31 AM
Hey! Don't come near me with that............

jaguar
12-02-2008, 06:57 AM
Get the fuck away from me!

jaguar
12-02-2008, 06:58 AM
Now, put down those knives, bitch!

emilyleanne
12-02-2008, 07:14 AM
where do u want your coffee haha

jaguar
12-02-2008, 07:36 AM
Where do you want your hot wax haha

emilyleanne
12-02-2008, 07:40 AM
mm You you have done this before - right?

jaguar
12-02-2008, 07:41 AM
If I had've wanted whoppers, I'd have gone to Burger King!

bigizzy
12-03-2008, 02:17 AM
Are you selling rooms? I have a very rigid worm looking for a home.

jaguar
12-03-2008, 07:13 AM
You're pretty sick, for a virgin, izzy!

Do I need a crane to get you in here?

jaguar
12-03-2008, 07:14 AM
Do I need to butter your hips to get thru the front door?

bigizzy
12-04-2008, 01:42 AM
I know, I do already know I'm rather kinky, lol, and virgin doesnt mean I havent done anything sexual yet ;)

Where'd the sun go?! Anybody see the sun?!

jaguar
12-04-2008, 07:54 AM
Fuck, your boobs are small!
(as said to me by my partner!)

bigizzy
12-04-2008, 11:47 PM
Are those boobs or is jupiter a triplet?!

jaguar
12-06-2008, 08:16 PM
Nice one, izzy!

Fuck, I could cover my windows with your meat curtains!

jaguar
12-07-2008, 08:44 AM
Do you shop at Ray's Tent City?

bigizzy
12-08-2008, 04:50 AM
Have you seen my horse, ma'am? I seem to have misplaced him.

jaguar
12-08-2008, 08:02 AM
Will I need my car keys when I pull out?

bigizzy
12-11-2008, 04:11 PM
Are you an a** or a b***h?

jaguar
12-11-2008, 05:37 PM
How much did all that work cost?

bigizzy
12-11-2008, 07:44 PM
Have you ever heard of bariatric surgery?

jaguar
12-12-2008, 09:00 AM
What are those......scabs?

Brigit Astar
12-12-2008, 04:17 PM
are those pimples on your chest

bigizzy
12-12-2008, 05:36 PM
ummm....where's your ass?

jaguar
12-12-2008, 11:10 PM
Your face, your ass, it's all the same to me cos I can stick my dick in either one!

Brigit Astar
12-20-2008, 07:52 PM
are those hairs on your chest?

jaguar
12-20-2008, 08:35 PM
Um, what are those scars doing there?

Brigit Astar
06-17-2009, 02:12 PM
what's that thing crawling between your legs

Brigit Astar
06-17-2009, 02:20 PM
what's that thing crawling between your legs

Deputy Duffy
06-17-2009, 08:20 PM
Man, I've never seen THAT before!

jaguar
06-18-2009, 07:47 AM
You didn't shave before you came here, did you?

Brigit Astar
07-19-2009, 09:15 AM
I've never seen that before

jaguar
07-19-2009, 09:56 AM
Is that supposed to be like that?

Brigit Astar
07-19-2009, 01:53 PM
whoops sorry--didn't see Deputy's words just before mine


what's that smell

jaguar
07-19-2009, 07:29 PM
Did you bring the flour? To help me find the wet spot?

Brigit Astar
07-26-2009, 06:10 AM
how often do you have to shave yopur face

jaguar
07-27-2009, 07:41 AM
You need to get rid of all that cellulite first!

wizardwriter
07-27-2009, 08:30 AM
i'm thinking encore, you and my buddies

wizardwriter
07-27-2009, 08:33 AM
damn, thought i was drunk, you got three itty bitty titties

jaguar
07-28-2009, 12:23 PM
You need liposuction, badly!

Brigit Astar
08-02-2009, 12:37 PM
what's that hairy thing between your breasts?

jaguar
08-03-2009, 07:50 AM
When was your last shower?

devip00
08-14-2009, 05:12 AM
have u ever been to the zoo?

jaguar
08-14-2009, 09:21 AM
Did you escape from the zoo?

(Hello, decip00, and welcome to the Blue! Hope you like what you find here!)

Brigit Astar
08-27-2009, 06:19 AM
what's that hairy moving thing between your legs

jaguar
08-27-2009, 07:12 AM
Let's keep it simple.

Fuck you're ugly!

Brigit Astar
08-27-2009, 08:04 AM
when did you get a facelift

jaguar
08-28-2009, 08:46 PM
I've seen smaller legs on Angus bulls!

Brigit Astar
11-04-2009, 03:47 PM
you've gained some weight haven't you

crzy67
03-15-2010, 09:44 PM
A good plastic surgeon can fix those.

Brigit Astar
03-25-2010, 09:25 AM
What is that ugly growth on your neck?

AZdreamin
03-25-2010, 05:01 PM
Shit, put your clothes back ON!

Brigit Astar
03-25-2010, 05:44 PM
Geez, with your clothes on, you looked like Ellen DeGeneres; what happened?

mkirros
03-26-2010, 04:19 AM
Uh, I may have made a mistake here...

AZdreamin
03-26-2010, 06:03 AM
Damn... Do you realize I can finger you AND play with you tits at the same time.... WITH the same hand!

crzy67
03-26-2010, 08:46 PM
"holy flying monkey shit! What the hell it thst!?"

Rico
03-31-2010, 05:06 AM
Pleeeaaassseee, put you clothes on.

Brigit Astar
04-18-2010, 03:00 AM
what's that ugly growth between your legs

Bigcumcock
08-09-2011, 06:45 AM
Hey hmmm

Hothead58
09-02-2011, 06:55 PM
My girlfriend has an outfit just like that . . .

Brigit Astar
09-03-2011, 01:36 PM
What is that thing moving between your legs?

necklemancer
11-27-2011, 01:07 PM
How long does it take to roll those up?

necklemancer
11-27-2011, 01:13 PM
Oh, oh, I know! You gotta start shaving something! I can't tell what's what anymore!

Brigit Astar
11-28-2011, 09:32 PM
How long have you had three breasts? Or is that just a big wart?

niteowluk2003
11-28-2011, 10:00 PM
your moustache is better than your mother's.

Brigit Astar
06-28-2012, 05:26 PM
I can tell by your puckered ass that you just farted

Amasterfound
10-30-2012, 10:10 PM
can we say full body lipo suction

Brigit Astar
11-29-2012, 09:28 PM
You have to do what? Use the bathroom?

muhabba
11-30-2012, 12:39 AM
Things to never say to a woman, huh? She's on her hands and knees in front of you. You come up behind her and slide slowly inside of her, sheathing yourself completely. You bend down and softly grasp her breasts as you whisper into her ear, "Wow, these feel just like your sister's". Now you hold on for the ride of your life.

Brigit Astar
12-04-2012, 02:53 PM
If you think I'm going to let you stick that 12-inch dildo in me, you're crazy.

bigizzy
12-28-2012, 12:37 AM
Where am I supposed to stick my winky? In that stinking thing? NO WAY!!!

Brigit Astar
12-28-2012, 04:10 PM
What's that ugly growth on your neck? Oh, that's your head.

bigizzy
01-13-2013, 10:58 PM
hahahaha....oh my god you call those boobs?!

Brigit Astar
01-14-2013, 03:30 PM
You have more hair under your arms than Hilary Clinton

bigizzy
01-15-2013, 09:43 PM
You look.....weird! But in not in a good way!

Brigit Astar
01-17-2013, 04:31 PM
Have you ever thought of shaving your chest?

bigizzy
01-21-2013, 04:57 AM
Have you ever thought about a sex change?

Brigit Astar
01-21-2013, 08:21 PM
When's the last time you took a shower?

bigizzy
01-31-2013, 07:53 PM
you really need a push up bra!

niteowluk2003
02-01-2013, 10:42 AM
You appear to be suffering from Egzackery diease...... Your face and Arse look exactly alike.....

Brigit Astar
02-01-2013, 06:44 PM
Did you know that you're shedding?

niteowluk2003
02-01-2013, 07:05 PM
I seen Zits bigger than those tits.....

Brigit Astar
02-02-2013, 07:11 PM
I smell something rank and it's coming from your direction.

bigizzy
02-03-2013, 08:37 PM
*sniff sniff* Oh My God Girl!! You need to wash that clam!!!

Brigit Astar
02-04-2013, 06:36 PM
Did you know that one of your breasts is lower than the other?

niteowluk2003
02-04-2013, 07:01 PM
Are those testicles I can see......

Brigit Astar
02-05-2013, 07:43 PM
I see now why your first name is George