How the crew of the EPE #9701 got rich!
As everyone knows the crew of an exterritorial explorer’s space ship gets paid minimum wages plus food and board. The real money if they win big is from their shares, the captain getting two shares and the rest of the crew getting one. (A share being 3 percent). This is the reason for the strict crew compliment of always about 30 men and women.
Winning big is from finding rare minerals, artwork, alien devices and anything else of any value. Most ship’s crew spends years before hitting it big, if ever!
When this crew landed on E#2071 (E meaning Earth like enough so you won’t die with the air and the number being the current year) their hopes were big, but you never know.
After two months the crew had mapped and tested this world with no surprises.
The third month the science offices found a life form in the caves. They were tan colored with apparently little backbones. Although they were almost of human size they drooped close to the ground. Their face was mole like with two small eyes and a snout with tentacles at the end. The communication with these aliens would have been slow if not for the fact that they were mildly telepathic. Humans could talk back orally if they would think about the words as they said them.
This planet had precious little water and nutrients therefore very little vegetation and no other animals. So these natives were barely getting by. By talking to them, it was found that they were not from here either, but had been degenerating little by little for the past 10,000 years. The Company ship practiced strict recycling even though they could make water from the air if needed. As it happened one of the crew was in the cave when he needed to relieve himself. So he went behind a rock in the natives’ cave and did his business. As he came back into the main living area he was confronted by all the Zak’s. As they had instantly smelled the water.
The name Zak was what the aliens called themselves; at least it was the first sound of the 14 syllable name that no human could pronounce. They explained in no uncertain terms that what the crewman had done was rude, wasteful and against their code of living. As it happened once again a human had to “go”, so he informed the nearest zak, thinking they would give him a vessel to put the liquid in. The zak asked where the liquid would come from on the human’s body. The spaceman indicated his crouch area. The Zak read his mind then simply pulled down his pants and attached his snout to his privates. After getting over the shock and fear that the creature might devour his penis. The zak informed him to release his surplus liquid in this manner as to not waste any precious drop. After a full five minutes the man finally relaxed and expelled his urine. The zak thanked him over and over for the great gift of this much liquid. It’s truly amazing how complicated things are found out and learned. As the Zak was in no hurry to release the liquid expeller of the human until it had pumped out every last drop. The Zak sensed an influx of nerve tension of the human and Hardening his liquid expeller. From his thoughts the zak leaned the human was heading toward “coming”. As this sounded like more liquid the zak used the tentacles on the end of his snout to caress the human into giving him a gift of even more liquid. When the human expelled this new liquid it was a thing of great value. This new liquid was of a thick creamy substance that wonder of wonders was almost entirely pure protein and to the zak of wondrous taste and a meal of better quality than it had in ages!
As the ship had to report every phase of the ship’s expedition to the home office. The science officer did indeed report this in cold scientific terms what happened, and thus doing so it slipped by the managers of the EPE ship’s.
As any crew will talk amongst themselves , it got around the milking service the zak's were willing to do. One by one the crew found their way to give their gifts to the zaks. The female crew members found out the Zak could indeed service them also as the Zak would insert their snout into their vagina and use their tentacles to manipulate the women to the most fantastic “come” of their life. At first this was an oddity for the daring to do; but shortly thereafter it was a flood of the entire crew going to see the zak to be “milked”. The crew was happy as they had no tension and felt truly drained.
The zak reported to the science officer that they were happy with the constant gifts they were receiving from the crew. The zak told of the fact that they had not multiplied for many decades as there were not enough food to make themselves divide and make added zaks. They reproduced by dividing in half and making a new offspring.
The zaks caught on fast; they sensed that production and expelling of semen was a private matter for the humans. They built small enclosures with cloths draped over the front for privacy; these booths were where they milked the humans of the great gifts!
After two years of this everyone was happy both humans and zaks. The zaks multiplied and the humans became their handlers. The zak would only be offered to other humans at other bases at the behest of the original crew that found them which they referred to as their herd.
The crew of EPE#9701 became quickly wealthy as they went from space base to space base with endless customers. As any customer that was milked by a Zak became fanatical about getting this service done every two days for as they were so completely drained it was hard to do this every day. All human after their first time being serviced by a Zak never balked at the price of their next “milking”.
The crew being more or less honest shared fully 50% of the profits with the Zak. The zak got together on the planet where they were originally found and announced that they had purchased an earth spaceship as to return to what they hoped was their home planet. This was amazing as no one even knew there where used spaceships to be purchased much less by aliens, but then again the Zaks had “friends” everywhere. When asked who would fly this ship they replied the humans from the first crew! The other crews on this earth base sensing even more profits asked the crew about what the wages would be getting on this expedition. To a man and woman no one had bothered to ask their only reply was that they would be serviced by their very own personal Zak.
It was explained to the zak that a spaceship that had changed ownership was usually renamed. As the ship left port on the long way home to the zak planet. The port lights highlighted the new ship’s name . It was oddly named the MOOO. All the onlookers felt that first this was a dumb name, or the Zak race wasn’t even as intelligent as first thought or that this name meant something profound in Zak culture.
The last scientific report on the Zak planet where they were found was that those serviced by the Zak produced over three times the semen of the average human. And during the bi-yearly physicals of the crew the doctors found a small splinter like barb behind the testicles on males and between the vaginas and anus of the women. It was also noted that none of the original crew had formed any lasting bond with any other human. And lastly the company shrink swore the IQ rating of the crews was going down!
P.S. Nine months after the Zak ship left for their home planet the news broke out that the “used” ship they had, wasn’t, it was brand new of the latest design. Everyone agreed the aliens were in big trouble!