A kindergartner pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. but it was dead. "how do you know that the cat was dead? she asked him " Because I pissed in its ear and it didnt move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, " I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didnt move"
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your twinkie." She says "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs, too."
An exasperated mother. whole son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, " How do you expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "well I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her song into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. " I cant dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room" A long Silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, "...and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "the sky is falling!" The teacher then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said :Holy Shit! A talking chicken!" The teacher wasn unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.