1. A guy grabbed a nun one dark night, dragged her into a secluded alley, ripped off her habit and raped her fast and hard. When he had finished and was pulling his pants up the nun sat sobbing...
"Oh dear me," she cried, "how am I going to tell the Mother Superior I've been raped twice."
"What do you mean twice?" her rapist asked her.
The nun looked up at him with her tear streaked face.
"You're going to do it again aren't you?"
2. The nun walked into the night and was taking a shortcut down an alley, where she was accosted by a menacing man.
"Sister," he said as he eyed her with lust, "do you believe in the hereafter?"
"Why of course I do," she replied.
"Then you know what I'm here after..."
3. A young priest was moving from the monestary into an inncer city church. He rode the bus into town and was dropped of at the depot, several blocks from his new parish.
As he walked the distance between the depot and his new home he came to a street corner and waited to cross with the light. As he waited he was approached by a hooker who smiled at him and spoke:
"Hey mister," she said, "I'll give you head for twenty bucks."
Not wanting to admit that he had no idea what she was talking about, he simply smiled and shook his head. As the light turned he hurried away from her.
However at the next light, he found himself approached again with the same offer. Again he was bewildered and somewhat embarrassed that he was so ignorant.
When he got into the church, he was greeted by the head priest who ushered him in with a hug and escorted him to his office. The he called for the Mother Superior and instructed her to show him to his room and answer any questions he might have.
"Is there anything you need to know?" the Head Nun asked as they walked, "I imagine that things are a lot different here than in the monastary."
"There is one thing I'm curious about," the priest confessed, "what's "head"?"
"Twenty bucks," the Nun said, "same as the street."
4.Three priests went to the train station. The youngest one, who was carrying their money, went to the ticket window, where he saw a gorgeous, sexy, curvey girl who was wearing a very low-cut blouse.
"Good morning, Miss. Could I have three tickets to Titsburgh?" Very embarassed, he withdrew, and handed the money to the other young priest, who then went up to the ticket window.
"Uh, Miss, I need three tickets to Pittsburgn. And could you give me some change in nipples and dimes....?" Completely embarassed, he retreated also, and handed the money to the older monsigneur.
The old cleric went up to the window. "Miss, I want three tickets to Pittsburgh. I also need some of my change in nickles and dimes. And I must say, Miss, dressed the way you are, if St Stick were to see you now, he would certainly shake his Peter at you!!"
5.A man was traveling through the desert and hadn't seen anyone for two days. Up ahead he saw a signSisters of Mercy Brothel
Figuring there was a mistake he pulled his car over and went inside.
Inside he was greeted by a matronly nun. "Sister, I believe there is a mistake, the sign outside says' Sisters of Mercy Brothel'". The nun replied"oh, no sir this is how we do our charity work. Are you interested?"
Being a good Catholic and wanting to do charity work he agrees. As instructed he put his money in the collection basket and goes down the hall and takes the door at the right.
He enters into an alleyway and ahead of him is a sign. On the sign it readscongratulations you have just been FUCKED by the Sisters of Mercy.
6.Two Nuns are walking down a street. Suddenly, two masked men jump out of an alley and pull them into the darkness. Immediately, they pull up the Nuns habits and begin fucking them.
The first Nun wimpers, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing."
The second Nun replies angrily, "Shut up, this one does."