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  1. #1
    LadyRaven
    Guest

    Talking Men Are Just Happier People

    NICKNAMES

    * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
    Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
    each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT

    * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
    even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
    and none will actually admit they want change back.

    * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY

    * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
    sale.

    BATHROOMS

    * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
    shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

    * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS

    * A woman has the last word in any argument.

    * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    FUTURE

    * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS

    * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
    spend.

    * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE

    * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP

    * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
    trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. - maybe

    NATURAL

    * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING

    * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
    dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
    fears and hopes and dreams.

    * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
    remembering the same thing!

  2. #2
    involved pervert
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1,568
    Post Thanks / Like
    Those are so true. My wife would totally agree.

  3. #3
    involved pervert
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia.
    Posts
    4,487
    Post Thanks / Like
    Lol. I don't agree with all of them, but most fit the profile lol......
    We may be human, but we're still animals.;co>

 

 

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