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Thread: Marriage Yukes

  1. #1
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    Marriage Yukes

    Marriage (Part I )





    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

    "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

    I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

    I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.

    Those are my rules. Any comments?"

    His new bride said:

    "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."





    Marriage (Part II)





    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

    The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

    "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"


    Marriage (Part III)



    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

    Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

    After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

    She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

    She says, "I was in bed."

    "In bed this early, doing what?" asks the husband.

    She yells: "Getting a second opinion!"



    Marriage (Part IV)



    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

    He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

    One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

    He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

    His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

    :p


    I'm not really a Deputy. I just play one on the Internet.

  2. #2
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    You know if that is suppose to be funny it isn't.

  3. #3
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    I think it's cute...lol
    What lies behind us, What lies before us, Are tiny matters, Compared to what lies within us!

  4. #4
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    i find the first two funny.

    I have seen the second two cost a man his life. I knew one of them. so i see no humor.

  5. #5
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    Well I can see that not being funny. But for those of us that haven't had that experiance...it's different.
    What lies behind us, What lies before us, Are tiny matters, Compared to what lies within us!

  6. #6
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    I dont know I found it pretty HIlarious thanx deputy those were great

  7. #7
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    Lighten up Satan (never thought I'd ever get to say that either)

    I've heard some before though

  8. #8
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    Sounds to me like the age old problem, stick ur foot in your mouth by saying something stupid and u get what you got comin to ya. people dont realize the things you say in anger sometimes will huant you, just because you say your sorry doesnt take it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Akuma-san View Post
    i find the first two funny.

    I have seen the second two cost a man his life. I knew one of them. so i see no humor.

  9. #9
    I found them a good laugh. I can see Akuma's position on it, but for the general public it is funny. Kinda like blonde jokes and your momma is so fat ones. No matter what joke that is out there, it insults at least one person.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by hawk9934 View Post
    I found them a good laugh. I can see Akuma's position on it, but for the general public it is funny. Kinda like blonde jokes and your momma is so fat ones. No matter what joke that is out there, it insults at least one person.

    Ding ding ding.


    I'm not really a Deputy. I just play one on the Internet.

 

 

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